A regular Monday…

Dear Diary ❤

Its has just been a regular Monday to day with my work, and spend time with Emma,- and now some time togheter with you.

Going more online…..?

I has been thinking if we should go more online in a couple off days? We are online now- even I m not sure how that happen,- but maybe we shopuld try to get a bit more out off this? Our relationship? It is a bit scary, because its a lots of thing I dont understand “online” yet. But we can always learn som thing new. I need to lean hpow to get my photo a bit smaller foirst off all, and also understand what “site title” actualley mean..and also what “category” is….or…I do undertand what it is- bur have no idea how to use it in you…my Diary. And how does “affilate” works? That seems also a bit interesting- but I m not sure how it works- so I need to find out about that too. ( and…jepp…be better to write english.. 😉 )

But I hope and think that maybe some one out there can have something positive by know about us- our life. That there actually is a life after turned 45 years aslo- it seems that manye think tha the life is between 16 an 35 or something like that. And its a lots of different stuff out ther “online”- so why not us? You and my “on the road ? 🙂

To day I think I will try to get our photo a bit smaller, and see how that work out…so step by step we will be there, and learn new things on the road 🙂 ….take the different turns that showes up, and learn by them as well 🙂

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Well…look at that- I manage to get the photo a bit smaller 🙂

Mammi…..

Hmmmm-….. I have been a Mammi for soon 25 years, and it has been my children that more or less has been my life, my focus, what I has beeing working for, but soon..just in a yera or two I will be just “Me”….and that its a bit scary…or to be honest very much scary……and yes it takes some time off my mind now and then.

All the different jobs have done durong this years so my chilkdren should have everything they needed. Wokrs I didnt like but did- so we had a place to live and food and the table,- and aslo some really nice trips togheter. It has been worth it- absolutly ❤ But now I can take work that I want to do, that I like and enjoy. My writingjob is one of them- and I has been working over 10 years to try to just live from writing- and now- maybe it seems to work out 🙂

It has been hard, it has been busy, it has been lonely sometiems to rise three children on my own- but it has been worth every step on the road, every day for all this years. Its just so different and difficult to learn to just be "me" now- who am I when I just not a mammi any more?

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Manage to do this as well- but let`s see how it goes tomorrow when I m going to try do to this on my phone 🙂

By the way- its a bit like this I feel- like a empty nice and sunny beach,- looking forward to get to know “me” at the same time it is a bit scary 🙂

So….”me”- who am I?

I m on my way to find out that….now when my chilkdren dont need me at the same way any more- and to be honest- it is a bit difficult. ..to find out of it. Because I know who I m, what I stand for, what I like, not like, beleives can do and can`t do ect…..but who am I when I m not raising any children any more? And taking care off them, and live togheter with them?

it sjust a matter of time before Emma also is moving out and start her young adult life. and what do I do then? We did talk a bit about it this evening- me and Emma. And she siad “Now you can do what evere you want to do”. And yes its true- but i m not used to do that- so I need to learn that as well- to take care of mye self, and to what I want to do.

My mammi role is changing- and I need to change with it. So…proberly step by step I will manage to do that….I can paint ore again, and I can focus to learn spanish….and maybe I get a nice boyfriend also? I can use more time on my friends, and maybe I can learn to dance bachata?

And travel more again?….ahh…but travel with out my children- that didnt feel correct….at the same time I know thats the way it is now…..

I need to pick up Emma at the trainstation now- its raining a lot…so I dont want her to walk home and get weet and cold and all that…..she is going to have to examens next month and need to read and be ready for this 🙂

See you soon, my dear Diary 🙂

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From a beach close to Carvajal- my secret beach 😉 )

Good Night and sleep well 🙂

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