Hi,- its so nice to see you 😊 I hope you have enjoyed your weekend 🌞
I have enjoyed my weekend,- and this was actually my first weekend with out work since March this year 😊.
It was a bit strange to have both Saturday and Sunday of from work,- but its absolutely a “situation” I can easily get used too, learn to live with, and enjoy.
Saturday morning I was not sure where to start the day and what to do,- and I did at the same time felt a bit like an empty balloon,- “the air” was just gone,- but in i good way 🎈😊.
I have actually been “exercise” to learn to say NO, to things I dont want to do,- with out thinking about it,- before after I had said “No, thank you!” And even without feeling on any guilt or selfishness ,- and that was a new “experience” for me.
And this is actually something I really need to be better at,- to say “No” ,- without get this bad feeling of guilt and selfishness. I also need to be better at relaxing, enjoying my time off, and take a bit better care of my self,- not just with different kinds of “body-care”,- but also a bit more “mindcare” 😊.
So my “to-do-list” is not just about different “practical things” I need to do, or needs to be done,- but its about a couple of in and around “my life” as well.
My first ” No!” was actually allready on Friday. A guy did ask me out ,- he did try to ask me out Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I said “No, thank you” to all the days . I have been out with him before many months ago ,- and allready at that time I did told him that is never going to be an “us”.
But the “thing” that was new for me was this thought,- “I dont want to use my time with him. He is not worth my time”. I havent though like this before. And what did suprice me was the words “my time” and “he is not worth it”. I did felt a bit rude…..and maybe it sounds a bit “awfull ” to think like that ,- but I dont mean it in a “awfull way”. Its just the way it is 😊.
Normally I think “Im not worth to use time on” ,- and then get a bit “happy” when a man wants to use his time in me. But suddenly that thought is gone, it did change direction/ possision in my head,- and do you know what,- it actually feels pretty good to think like that 😊. It feels good to put my self first 💛.
Photo taken in the water from the pool,- a mirror from a lovely evening. And a it feels a bit like me at the moment,- “up-side-down” from what I m use too 😊.
I also did get an offer for some extra sleeping- nightshift in the homenursery this weekend. Some nights “now and then” during July and August. But I did say “No, Im sorry, but I can’t”. And that is in a way true, but I could probably have done it.
For just some weeks ago I had probably turned a bit “up-side-down” on my workplans, my days, my life, my plans, my time ,- just to manage this nightshift, to do my best to help out. But I feel a cant press my self to much, to long any more ,- and also for things I actually dont want to do. I just do it to be nice,- and if I don’t do it,- I get this stupid feeling of guilt and selfishness. And I actually dont need to have this feelings, there’s not any reason for me to feel it like that. I m a nice person,- also when I say No! ,- now and then 😊.
I did say Yes! to my self this weekend,- and spent some lovely and relaxing hours at the beach 🌞.
It feels actually good,- no! it feels great to “discover” that it’s just “alright” to say “No!” I m still a good person 😊.
This weekend has been very lovely when I did started to use it “wisely” 😊. I have been organised our “dinner-menu” for the up-coming week. It will safe some time/ hours to have that ready allready.
I have spent some hours at the beach, and I also have spent some hours at pool 🌞. I have actually relaxed a bit, and I have been learning a bit about my self and my “No!”. Im just started on that “#process” too ,- I have a couple of “processes” going on at the moment 😅 ,- but okay,- that’s actually fine 😊.
All in all,- this new #working-situation can actually work for me for a while (at least when I m on my way to the next “level” in my #life 😉) ,- with long working-days in the week, and “time-out ” in the weekends 😊. At the same time I have in my mind,- that thing can change very fast from one day to another- nothing is never for sure 😊.
Ps- Im starting to be a “pro” to handle changes in life, work, daily life ect😉…..I m just kidding 😅,- but I m getting better 😊
This is for sharing with someone thats worth to use and spend my time together with 😉.