Did I move to Spain, or was I moved to Spain? 🤔

Hi ❣ Its so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 💛

I don’t know what will happen in the work-area the next days,- its absolutely not sure Im getting any of the job-offer in Ireland,- what is fine for me if so happen 😊. Then I dont need to make any “big” #decisions.

Im not sure how ready Im to take a decision like that at the #moment. But what I do know,- are that if I m getting an job-offer somewhere else then in the area Im living in now, this time it will be #mine decision to either move to a new #destination and country, and not someone else decision. Only mine decision. And what ever happens,- thats actually a very #good #feeling 😊. To know its just my decision 😊.

Because I m actually not sure if I did move to Spain or was just moved to Spain. Im not sure if it was totally my decision to move to Spain.

And here can the #story, my story, maybe be a bit “too much” for some,- just as you know,- but at the same time,- I m actually not going to tell more than I m #comfortable with to #share 😊.

Like it’s written at my homepage,- “I was left in Spain with a couple of kids in the suitcase” (and yes,- so everything is clear,- my children knows the story- of course they do, – also that I m going to tell it ). And yes,- I have tried my very best to do the best of that “#experience” ,- to be left in a new country 😊. And,- well,- it has been “ups and downs”,- but in a strange way we have #manage it. Probably by great “#team-#work” as well as our #mantra “everything will be fine” 😊.

Before we did move to #Spain I did live together with Mr. Ex in #Norway. And we both did have a dream of trying to live and work in Spain somewhere in the future. Mr. Ex did had a job that made it possible for him to work and live other places then in Norway. And I actually did get an 10 months working-contract in Spain, with starts in August 2013.

So,- in the Spring in 2013 we, him and me did #travel a couple of weekends down to this area to find an apartment that would suit “all of us”.

And we did find an apartment. He did even find a finca a bit out of the city, that he actually did buy. Or at least I do think he did buy it. It was what he told me. But I m not sure. He told me that his plan for the finca was “the future”,- and a place we could be in, stay in, live in,- after the different renovations of the finca.

I have just seen pictures of this finca,- but that, I have learned, the really hard way,- its not everything that is what it looks like. So maybe its actually was just pictures ? No finca at all? What I do know,- that there was no “future”, not even at that time. But I didn’t know that at that time, but he did know,- I know that now.

Well,- the Spring went to Summer,- and it was soon time for order plane- tickets. I knew it was just me and my children that should travel first. He had some work thats needed to be done before he could come,- and the plan was then that he should come around in the beginning of September.

I was use to his work, and also that he did travel in his working-situation. Something many people do.

I need to mention that Mr.Ex is not my children’s dad. I have been divorced from their dad for about 17 years now,- and there will never come a text about him. My children’s dad. It doesn’t matter why I did choose a divorce with 3 small children ,- its not important at all. The most important is,- he is my children’s dad. And thats more than good enough reason for not write about that era 😊.

Well,- me and my children did fly to Spain 13. August 2013. And it was some busy days too, the first days in Spain,- special for me in a new job. And also things to fix like mobiles with spanish number, NIE- number, sosial securidad number, bank account ect. And in Spain its lines, long waiting-lines,- so things took a bit time.

I think I did talk with Mr. Ex 2 or 3 times during this 3 first weeks,- and then I didnt get any connection at all. And he should be coming to Spain soon 🤔.

In the beginning of September I did get an email from him where he ended our #relationship. What I didnt know was that there already was a new woman in his life, with a daughter at the same age as my son in the middle. Just #remeber this, this daughter, she will drop up more in my text 😊. This new woman had actually been in his life for a while too. Since January- February 2013.

At that point I didnt know what to do. That was not the plan. To be in Spain like this. I only knew for my children I really needed to do the best of it. #Easy? Oh no, #seriously not at all,- but I didnt had any #choices.

I knew I didnt have anything to come back to, not any home to move into in Norway. I had leave of absence from my job in Norway. I had lost most of the contact with both most of my family and friends (why I have lost the contact is a story for an other day,- one thing at the time 😊 ,-Mr Ex was a part of that one too ).

BTW,- I m not going to use a lost of posts and time on this man. But some parts of the story will give you a bit better understanding for why relationship scares me, and why I m worried for #meeting a new Mr Ex. Its also a #good #process for me to #write the “#story”, to write so much as I feel #comfortable with to tell, to share, and write my self away from it all,- at least as fare as possible 😊.

I didnt know how to ask for help,- the only thing I did knew was to just do the really seriously best of it. Everything was also knew for my children,- I couldn’t allowed my self to “fall apart”. Not because of him- he was not worth to “fall apart” for,- and special not for my children,- they did deserved a mammi that “stood in the floor as best as possible”. A mammi that was there for them as best as I did manage in this new world, new in suddenly so many more ways then I had imagen just weeks before.

I did have a job, we did have a place to live,- even that was a bit to much expensive for only my salary. But,- that was not the plan,- to pay for it all by my self. At least I did thought so when we/ or its probably me, did rent the apartment. It was just my name on the rental- contract. But, unfortunately, it didnt say any “bling-blong” in my head when I did write under that one with him by my side.

Two years ago I got a phone-call from a young, spanish girl. She had got my number from the norwegian consulate in the area,- and she wanted to learn #norwegian, and also take the Bergen-test/ B2 exam. Something I could, and still can, help her with. Of course she was very #welcome as my #student.

What I didnt know was that this young girl was Mr Ex ex-stepdaughter. The daughter to the woman he started to have an relationship with in January- February 2013. When we also still did had an relationship. Did live together.

She, my student, does probably not know anything about my relation to her ex- norwegian stepfather,- and I have chosen to also leave it that way. Im her #teacher- thats it.

But I have had a couple of “heavy” and emotional lessons together with her. Not because she is a bad student,- absolutely not 😊. And really not because Mr Ex did ended the relationship with me, or because I miss him. Because I dont miss him, and I have not any emotional feelings for him in any way. I actually don’t feel any hate any more rather. I just feel very, very sad sometimes about how a person can be and behave to another person. At the same time I m grateful for that all the things I have experienced during the lasts years in Spain,- even it has been some really though times too. And I m really grateful for not have him in my life- really #grateful.

The lessons has been heavy because I actually cant understand why I was treated like that. What had I done to deserved that kind of treatment? Why couldnt he just told me that he had meet an other woman? A bit before we, my and my children, did moved? An “actoin” like this does “something” with a person- thats why it has been a bit “heavy”. Heavy to “#discover” even more about this person, a person you have shared both bed and dreams with. Phu 🤤.

Its not heavy anymore, the lessons,- just so thats said 😊. If it still had been heavy for me I havent been able to share the story with you 😊.

But little by little I did understand the “#connection”,- and what I think, I dont know, but think what actually did happen when I did move to Spain. Then Mr Ex did move this woman and her daughter to Norway, from Spain, even from this area in Spain. Or,- I do know thats actually what did happen.

My student and her mam did move to Norway 19. September 2013. Six days after we left Norway.

So how do I know this ? Well,- its pretty easy for my to get some information about and from my students,- even when I tell them to just make up a story,- becasue I just want to have an #conversations in norwegian together with them 😊.

The questions Im asking stands actually in our teaching- book. Its different subjects and topic. The questions can be “When did you move to Norway?” “Why did you wanted to move to Norway?” “What did you do or want to do in Norway?” “For how long do you or did you stay in Norway?” “Do you have friends, family or other related in Norway?’ Ect. ect. ect. And all the questions stands in the book. So my student actually know Im asking from the book, for the subject we are studing.

What I dont understand is why didnt he end the relationship before? In April or May, June or July? Why didnt he give me the #chance and possibility to make my own #choice to move to Spain or not move to Spain? I dont know why, I can assume,- but I still dont know, and will probably never know. Something thats fine now,- but it have taken a bit time.

And what are the #chances for me to get this sweet young girl as my student? Im mean it’s a bit distance between South of Spain to the West Coast of Norway. And not to mention all the people there are in between this distance to choose from.

I don’t know why this happen,- that actually this young girl should be my student. But I do think its a kind of #reason to it,- I just don’t know the reason yet. And maybe I never will get to know it rather.

But one thing is for sure,- the #life, the #destiny is a very strange thing, and also full of #surprises 😊. The life has its own #mysterious ways to tell you a story – thats for sure 😊.

So know you know “the story” about “left in Spain with a couple of kids in the suitcase”.

I have not very much more to “say” today,- exept from Im a bit empty now,- but at the same time it was a bit important for me to share this story,- so ,-

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 💛. Thank you so much for dropping by today too,- and for reading my blog 💛.

See you soon 😊

The life has sometimes its own #mysterious ways to tell you a #story, or show you #different #directions in life 💛. I have open a “#suitcase” in my #life today,- and let you into it, at the same time as I did #emptied it a bit too 😊.