The fifth wheel on the wagon 🙄🚊😊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

We are getting closer and closer to the end of this year, and a start on a bright new year 🌟.

I’m, unfortunately, offline again 🤔, and “on” my neighbour’s internet again. Well,- one thing is for sure,- it’s good to have good neighbours 😊. Even I just can do a tiny bit work on my phone.

I don’t know why I’m “offline” again, but I really hope the company I’m using- will be able to fix this problem before the weekend, and before we turn over to 2020. I have a bit work that needs to be done before this year ends. And I cant do it “all” on my phone. I can “run around” to my children and “borrow” internet there, but it’s a bit stress to “move” parts of my “homeoffice” around. It’s a reason why I want to do some work from my home,- because it’s a bit more comfortable- for me 😊. But if I need to do it that way, I need to do it that way. To get some income it’s a bit important for “get the wheels goes around” in a home,- in my home too 😊.

Apropos “wheels”,- have you ever felt like “the fifth wheel on a wagon”? I have,- and the first time I for real did understand that when you are single you will be “the fifth wheel on the wagon”,- “the lonely wheel” that many dont want to invited to a party…. it was my first new years evening and celebration after the divorce in 2002, to the year should turn to 2003. So it’s actually some years ago now 😊.

That was actually my first new years evening alone,- I was 29 years old, and I need to admit that I did cry a bit that evening. It was not a very pleasant new years evening at all 😔.

My children was together with their dad. And I really did felt alone, and I for real did understood that as single you don’t “suits” in “everywhere” anymore,- specially not in different settings, events and party where the invited guests was more and less just couples.

I’m not sure why it is like that,- but I got a couple of “explanations” from a friend. A friend that had a new years party this evening, but I was not invited because I was single and didn’t “fit” in in the group or around the table anymore,- and…..maybe I also was going to flirt with one of the men in the party, one of the men that was in a relationship, – just because I was single ( and probably desperate? I don’t know- that was my words, not my friend, – but I felt they was “laying” there….in between the sentences ) 🙄. And I would also “destroy” the tradition, their new year celebration traditions with be at the party as single.

My friend did call my the next day, the day after this new years evenings celebration, the 1. January 2003 and told me, explained to me that the friend, has been thinking about me and how my new years evening was. But at the same time I needed to understand that the friend couldn’t invited me to their new years party- because of those reasons I have already mention 🙄. I was single, I didn’t “fit” in in the group anymore, or around the table,- it would be odd- number, and maybe I was even able to “flirt” with some of the men that was in a relationship. And, it was a tradition….to be couples this evening…..

To be honest – that did hurt a bit too,- to know, to been told why I was not invited, and also should understand my friend for the different reasons I was given from my friend. I still don’t think my friend totally do understand how this felt- to be told,- that ” you don’t fit in anymore”, ” you would have destroyed our tradition to be around our table this evening” and so on. I should understand my friend, but I don’t think my friend did understood me and my situation, and how this words did effects me.

This is actually a bit okay example on how singles can “experienced as” “threatening” at a group, couples and relationships, – but actually for no reasons. The single are just single and not a “threat”. And I’m not the only single one that have exactly the same experiences as this.

Anyway,- I have been in a couple of settings after this as single and actually really got the feeling that I don’t fit in as single. Im “the fifth wheel”. It’s actually better to not go, and to just stay home and be alone. Because I did felt more alone at the “event” then when I actually was when I was home alone.

Every second new year celebrations after this one in 2002, when my children was celebrated the new years evening together with me, and before they was so grown up and teenagers, and started celebrate the new years evening together with their friends, I did travel with my children for new years evening, – and we did celebrate it in different places. And have created some good memories together as well 😊.

I didn’t wanted them to have and feel like I did, at my first new years evening alone. This really uncomfortable feeling of not fit in anymore. And this really uncomfortable feeling of being alone.

I don’t know anymore how many new years evening and celebrations I have been alone. But one thing is for sure,- I prefer to be alone then be “the fifth wheel on the wagon” and really feel I don’t fit in 😊.

Of course it would be nice to celebrate this evening, new years evening, together with someone special, – but at the moment there’s no one like that in my life 😊.

I’m probably going to be home alone this new years evening too. But I’m so use to it now that it’s not a problem, it doesn’t hurt, or is a “challenge” anymore 😊. It’s fine,- I don’t feel alone, I’m just alone 😊.

What I’m very happy for that my children never got this “loneliness” feeling on new years evening and celebration when they was younger and did celebrate together with me,- like that one I had and felt in 2002 😊. And we did get some really nice short trips together as well 😊.

So,- as single you are in different settings both uninvited and “the fifth wheel on the wagon”. It’s a bit strange,- but that’s the way it is. I have accepted that and the situation 😊. And I’m in away fine with it now 😊. But yes,- it was a tiny bit “chock and suprice” too, as a 29 year old young woman to discover this “social separation” between single and couple in different contexts. I didn’t have any imagination about that.

Have you ever been or felt like “the fifth wheel on the wagon”? I actually hope you haven’t- it’s not the best feeling in the world 😊.

I hope you will have some great people around you when 2019 turns to 2020 🥰.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧡

See you soon 😊.

As single you are in many situations the “third wheel or fifth wheel on the wagon”,- and that’s not the best feeling in the world 😊. Then it’s a bit better to just “celebrate” alone on a wagon with no wheels at all 😊.

Became my line to “hot”? 😳🔥

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡.

I’m still not sure what did happen to my tiny little internet last weekend,- but maybe it became a bit “to hot” on the line? 🤔🙄 Not because I’m so “hot”,- it’s a bit cold here in Spain at the moment 😅,- and I haven’t anyone special to be “hot” together with either 😅. And after last weekend’s “hot-line” it felt a bit okay to not “be to hot too” 😅.

I have still this (my) profile on Tinder….and that one got a bit “attention” on Saturday/ Sunday 😳. I’m not use to that, and I don’t know why, – probably it was “the hangover day” for a couple of men? 🙄 My profile is not very special at all,- it’s just me. It’s some few words and a couple of photos on my profile ,- and no bikini- photos either 😅,- all photos are with clothes on 😊. Very ordinary photos actually.

I got 4 different messages from 4 different men in the age between 45 and 60 last weekend. And that was a bit unusual for me/ my Tinder- profile. Also because I’m not very active at Tinder- I do forget to use it. I just get an reminder now and then when there are a new message or two.

But do you know what,- I did actually thought that men in this ( 45- 65) age could manage to behave a bit,- but thise one are the worst one 😅. It’s not strange I’m considering men younger then myself as an partner 😉. They can actually behave well and know how to “treat” a woman 😉.

I’m a bit ashamed over men in age 45 to 65 . I know this is not “all” men in this age,- but a bit to much… least that’s my opinion,- and also my experience. I’m not sure what’s going on in some mens head in this age,- but maybe it’s a bit “middle age crisis”? Or maybe they think they behave “young” and “attractive”? And of course there are women in my age that’s like it when men are a bit “easy”, “simple” and starts a conversation based directly on “the act” ( read sex ),- but not a lot 😉.

Of course, this “simple” behavior does not apply to all men in the 45 to 65 age group – and I do not mean to take everyone under “the same comb”, – although it may seem that way in this text. And then I do apologise for that 💙.

But one thing is for sure something happens with mens “brain” in this age- group when it comes to sex and behaviour. Maybe it’s the lack of testosterone? The testosterone level and hormones goes a bit down when a man comes into this middle age face 😊. Like the oestrogen level and hormones does with a women 😊. But it’s a bit slower for a man. They don’t have all this menopause like women have,- but at the same time they have their own “menopause”. And the midlife crisis affects both genders mentally and emotionally – even though it does not affect the physical in the same way.

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Anyway,- today is not about the midlife crises or menopause, – it’s about the sex- focus and men, very adult men, mature men who should eventually have learned and not least should know that some types of behavior is a bit not very much “sexy”, or attractive, – to say in a kind way 😊. It’s more a like a big “trun off” than a “trun on”.

So,- then it was over to my “hot line” last weekend 😅.

The first one ( age 58) did asked me about a couple of things,- ” If I was able to cook and give him a child. The child was also something I could “company with”/ have something to do when he was at work”. I told him that my “baby- factory was closing down. Then the next question was “if I did like to have sex many times during the day and in different positions”. Gulp! 😳 I just answer that I was probably not the correct woman for him. But he didn’t stop there,- he invited me to his country ( he was not Spanish), for a date. Would pay my ticket, and if the date went well I could stay in his home for one or two or three weeks. Well,- I didn’t continue the “conversation” with him.


The next one ( age 45) ,- he just asked if I could come home to his home for a drink. I didn’t want that- of course not. To a totally strange man 😳. But I did ask him why we couldn’t meet in a neutral place first time. His answer was “because it’s was more comfortable to meet in his home” . Comfortable for him- because if “something” more should happen it was closer to his bed 😳. I told him that it was not very comfortable for me to meet like that. And he did suggest that I could come to his gate, take a look at him,- and if I didn’t like what I saw I could leave. I did also stopped that conversation.

Then it was another one (age 47) that just sent me this :” Hello beautiful when I come I’m going to make you come 😍😍”. I didn’t respond at that one- totally meaningless for me 😳.

And the last one (age 50) ,- he did sent me a “gift”- “photo- gift” of “what I could expect” 😅. I didn’t respond at that one either. I was not to impress over the “gift” anyway 😅. It was not the “size” I prefer that kind of “gifts” 😉. Just kidding- but just a bit 😊.

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So maybe that’s why I went offline on Sunday- it became a bit to much for my “line”? A bit to “hot”? 😉

And- Do men in those age think or believe this is attractive or “sexy”? And do they think they get the attention they actually want? Or,- maybe they just do it for fun? I don’t know why they do it like this- “flirt” or whatever you will call it. And to be honest, – they do get a bit of my attention, but probably not in the way they think,- it became a funny story to tell instead 😅.

I’m not very impressed over this kind of “conversations” or “behaviour” from men in this age group,- and this is, unfortunately, a bit typical for a some men to try to “flirt”, get in connection and the attention to a woman. Normally and in general this is actually not working ,- dear sweet men 😅. But of course it does for some few “lucky ones”.

I can give a few more examples, – like “I m going to give you a night you never will forget”. Yepp,- probably,- if I had care, but also probably not in the way the man had in his mind 😅. And “I’m the best “licker” you have ever tried”. I’m not so sure about that, because I know better what I like then you does 😅. I can continue, – but I let it be with this.

We all like “the act” differently ,- also differently with different partners. What I like to do with someone is not sure I like to do with someone else. ( I thought men in the age 45- 65 did knew this….. they have some ages behind them…and “all” this “experience” they are bragging about too…..the “experience” that I’m not quite sure how they are counting…..😉…..and btw they self do like “the act” different with different partners too…so why should it be any different for a woman?😉).

It’s not the first time I get textes like this from men at Tinder, and I also know it’s like this one other nettdating pages too. Of course I do. But men in the age 45- 65 are actually the one who are “flirting” most like this 😅. Oh my 😅. But like I did mention, – this is not all the men in the age between 45- 65. There are some good guys too 😊.

I hope I haven’t offended anyone today,- that was not my “goal” with today’s post. But if I did,- I’m apologise for that 💙. It’s mainly based on my opinion and my experience, – with a tiny “touch” from what other women has told me too. So it’s not any officially facts- just private experience and opinions 😊.

My “goal” with my post today was to put a bit focus on the behaviour some men in a current age have,- and it’s not just me that get messenger like this,- and we actually don’t like it to much 😊. Its just not very “sexy” or attractive- so it’s just a tiny reminder if a man actually want to meet a woman- behave a bit different then “this” 😊. Even when it became to a one night stand 😊.

And I also did try to use a bit humor for why I did lost my internet connection last Sunday. My “line” became a bit to “hot”, and in a way I didn’t like to much 😅.

Btw,- do you see any “different” from my two posts from yesterday/ today and this evening ? 😊 I’m online again- in my own home 🥰 and can use my brands again 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my #blog to day too 🧡.

See you soon 😊

Became my “line” “to hot” last weekend? 🔥. Is that the reason why I went “offline”? 😳 …..well I did went a bit “offline” and it was also because of some “to hot for me” online- reasons 😅 😉.

And the answer was….. 😅

Hi ❣It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊. I hope all is fine with you 🧡

So,- what did you think I did today? 😊

Swept out, and let handsome man be handsome man, with no offer of coffee (orange juice to me) the company with me? 😅 Or was it an innocent text message from me about coffee / orange juice when I was safe back in my home😅? Or did I just go home quietly after the last day of this job? 😉 Or,- maybe he was not at work today at all ? 🙄

Well,- I will tell you in a bit 😉.

I did say goodbye to my colleagues. Some I know I’m going to meet again, and some not. What is totally normal at a job, and also when you quit a job. Some you connect with, others not 😊.

It was a bit quite at the office today. It’s a Spanish holyday today 😊. So all the Spanish had the day off. BTW,- the Finnish and French too. I’m not sure why they had the day of, but in Spain it’s The Spanish Constitution Day 🇪🇸,- but there is no social celebration as I am used to with the Norwegian Constitution Day 🇧🇻 . They just have free. I do not know how they celebrate at home, or whether they celebrate at all. At least it’s quiet everywhere, and no stores are open.

It was a fine day at work today, but also good to be able to get on with somethings new, this evening as well as in a couple of days 😊. I need to “work me a bit up” in the writing- area again. So it’s a couple of texts I’m going to do this evening as well as during this weekend. And that’s totally fine, it’s my choice, and to reach some of my goals and dreams it’s actually necessary to work, to do some “offers” 😊. And I’m very prepared for that- I know it will be a bit hard, I know I need to work, I know I need to give it a try, and do my best 😊.

I did try to do something else today too,- like ask for a cup of coffee with me ☺️ and I did “drop by” to the work- desk to this one I have had “a good eye” to at my job. Twice yesterday and twice today. But he was never at his desk when I “dropped by” 😅.

So I actually did swept out a bit, and did send a text message when I came home. I did got an response too 😊. A bit like “Good luck with the new opportunities. Thank you for the invitation. Wish you a great weekend” 😊.

What was totally fine,- then I know, and I don’t need to think more about him. And you know,- “out of sight, out of mind”. So soon he will probably not be in my mind anymore, simply because I will neither see him again nor hear from him. But, – it was a small attempt anyway. ” If you dare nothing, you win nothing”. This time I neither won nor lost. Something that feels totally okay 😊. At the same time I did win a bit- because I did took the chance to ask 😊.

Do you “belive” in the sayings “Out of sight, out of mind” and “If you dare nothing, you win nothing”? Have you take any “chances” in your life where you in a way did loose, but at the same time did win? 😊 In case,- in what situation?

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧡.

See you soon 😊.

“If you dare nothing, you win nothing”- and sometimes you in a way win and loose at the same time 😊.

I wish you a great weekend with different kinds of gains in life 😊.

Sometimes the world is just to small 😯🙄

Hi ❣ it’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I’m not to fine today 🙄. Sometimes the world is just to small 🙄.

“Someone” contacted me today,- and it felt not good or okay at all. This “someone” I think maybe you know who it was. I think I’m going to a) continue call it “the bump” from now, and b) not write to much more about “the bump”, just a tiny bit so I can in my own way, try to “relieve” “the bump” as best as I can from my life.

I’m not worried, yet, I just feel and felt a bit sick 😳.

“The bump” was in “the area” and wanted to meet me for a coffee and with smiley- faces 😳. I did got an email this morning- after peaceful silent for some years. I dont drink coffee, and I have no reasons to meet “the bump” again.

And I don’t think “the bump” actually understand what “the bump” did to me and my life, and how that relation affected me and my life in a negative way and direction.

And I got this really bad feeling again that I’m just a big failure in every area in life- special in the “relation- and emotional, and financial area”,- because “the bump” was a close connected to that part of my life some years ago, as you know, and “the bump” broke me so down. Emotional, mental, physical and materialistic / financial.

“The bump” I think miss a couple of “magic” words and understandings in the life, like for example the word “self- knowledge”🙄. I don’t think “the bump” have any understanding for that word….and a couple of more.

Why, for any reason in the world, why should I want to meet “the bump” again? Don’t “the bump” see or understand that at all? 😳 Dont “the bump” remember anything at all? I haven’t any reasons at all to want to see or meet “the bump” again, at the same time I have- but not for any good reasons.

I just sat down for one hour this morning, and didnt do a thing, just felt like an big ice- statue, at the same time like I got the coldest shower in the world with ice- cubes felt up with memories from “the past” 😳.

Lucky for me,- Natasja did send me a text, and “woke me up”. She didn’t know about the email, she just send me a text “How are you?” And then something in a way loosened in me. I got the possibility to put some words about how I was,- and actually manage to start my day 😊. And I did started my day,- and I’m a bit proud too, that I did manage this day without feeling to much “bumpy” and like an ice- statue. Just like an a lump of jelly for a few hours. Little by little the day got a bit “normal” and I got distance to “the bump”. I went to work, I did my job- even good too, and feel a bit like it all has been a bad dream, a kind of a nightmare.


I did choose to not answer “the bump”. Why should I answer? I have not a good word to say to “the bump”,- and then it’s better to just say nothing.

Today the world felt a bit small,- at least my world. I felt a bit like I was going to be “choked”. I felt I couldn’t breath for a while. It’s no room for “the bump” and me in the same world, not ” in my world, and my life”.

It’s like the past never goes away- let me go, let me rest, let me “get back on business “. It’s knocking on the door when I least expect it, and in situations I haven’t thought about 😳.

The last 6- 8 years has been so fucking shit hard, challenging and difficult,- but at least in their own way- the 6 last years has at least been peaceful. Maybe difficult to understand. But yes, they has been very peaceful even different challenginges has “popped up”….to much “popping up”.

Sexy undertøy

But yes I’m a bit proud too today,- I didn’t answer. I went to my job, I did my work, I didn’t cry, not one single tear, and I even was available to work 2, 5 extra hours this evening in my home with my extra job 😊. I haven’t eat to much today, my stomach is still a bit “strange”. But I still stand on my feet,- even I felt pretty small this morning,- I did manage the day 😊.

My eyes are normally blue, but for some reason I don’t know, they changed to grey/green when I’m not feeling to good emotional, like today. They can even be black, but then I’m pretty angry- and most of the time I’m not that 🥰. And you know,- “the eyes are the mirror of the soul” ,- so maybe that’s why they are changing colour? The saying means a bit more then a color- change I think,- at least for me,- it means a bit more then just a change of colours in the eyes 😊. I think I’m going to “research” why one day, why my eyes are changing colour, – but not today 😊.

Does your colour on your eyes changes in different emotional situations?

Anyway,- I hope your day has been a bit better then mine 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧡.

I did my best to day,- even the world felt pretty small this morning 😊. My eyes are normally blue,- but today,- for some reason they change to grey/ green 😳. They do that sometimes when emotional “bumps” shows up in my life 🙄. But it’s a saying like “The eyes are the mirror of the soul”,- and my soul has been a bit “down” today, a bit “grey” 🧡.

Older men- younger woman, younger men- older woman 😊

Hi ❣Its so nice to see you ,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 💛

I did watch a #movie this weekend 🎥. By the way,- I like to watch movies in the weekends 😊,- and many times, I in one or another way, I do #recognize #myself in the movie too. It can be the #characters or the #setting, or #situations thats feels #familiar, or something else 😊. It can also be the #morale or #ethics I do like.

Many movies have some kind of morale or ethics that can be #useful in the “real life”. Its like with many old and #traditional #stories and fairytales ( maybe not so much this “princess-fairytales”- but even some of this can have a good point now and then 😊).

The old and traditional stories often was told for both #entertainment and for give the listener something to learn as well as to think about, and for giving some good “life-advice”/ #good #advice for the #life too 😊.

Anyway I do normally “use” a movie in the weekends as entertainment 😊. Like I did this weekend too,- but after a while I was starting thinking- “maybe Im looking in the wrong #direction when I’m “waiting/ looking” for this #boyfriend that’s miss a bit in my life”? 🤔 😊.

I actually did start to think about the “usefulness” with this movie already when it did start,- but then in a different #direction then the “#boyfriend- #subject” 😊. More about the #changes that’s happens in “the world”,- both when it comes to humans as well as what’s happen with the climate and nature. But that one we can take another day 😊.

The movie I did see this weekend was “I could never be your woman” with Michelle Pfeiffer and Paul Rudd. I do like both of the actors,- so I did think it should be a #good #movie too,- and it was- at least for me. It was #humour, funny and a bit #romantic, with a tiny “touch” for something to think about as well , for me 😉.

The content in the movie was an older woman, age 40, meet a younger man, age 29. Its sounds like a “big” age-different, but its “just” 11 years 😊. And why can’t the age-different between a woman and a man be that “way”, when it’s “normal” for a man at age 40 to have a girlfriend or wife at age 29? 😉

I know it are couples where the woman is older then the man, but its more and most couples the oposite way 😊. I have friends where the husband or boyfriend are 7 or 11 years younger then the woman 😊. I haven’t just never thought that was a possibility for me- for the long and serious term 😊. But maybe it is?

So maybe Im looking at the wrong “age- direction”? 😉

I have been in a #relation where the man was 15 years older then me, and after a while the age- difference felt huge, it was to big for me. I have also been in a relation where the man was 7 years younger then me, but there it was a bit #drama, to much drama for me 😅. But still it was a bit more #fun and “#action” with the younger one.

Age is often just a number,- I know. It can be young 60 years old people as well as very old 30 years old people.

But will a 10 years younger man find me #attractive? Things “here and there” are starting to work, sometimes to much, togheter with the #gravity 😥. The fine lines in my face are dropping by 😊. And I’m still a bit “there” where I want a man to feel attractive and attraction for me,- and of course the other way around too.

My issue is maybe “the attraction” combinat with the age ? 🤔 I know perfectly well how #old Im, my #age 😊,- even I feel a bit younger inside in my #soul,- and sometimes even do forget my age too 😊. But,- will actually a man 10 years younger then me find me attractive? My fine lines and “the work” the gravity are doing? 😊 I know it shouldn’t be important- but for me it is- this “attraction, and to be and feel attractive”.

I did change the #searching- age at my Tinder account to 10 years younger men down from my age, after watching the movie 😅. And it did also look a bit fun to have a younger boyfriend when I did watch the movie 😅.

BTW- my plan was actually to deactivate my Tinder-account after my tiny #Tinder experiment. But an earlier colleague of me told me that she had meet “the love of her life” at Tinder. They are actually #married now, but I didn’t knew they did meet at Tinder. I just knew she was and is very #happy together with her husband. So I thought “Okay, I can give it a try then” 😊. My oldest son also met his girlifriend and fiance at Tinder- so maybe there is a tiny hope for me as well? 😊

Its just one tiny little thing,- I get very fast borred at Tinder, and this “press buttons” “nope/like”. It’s not very much more that’s happens. And I don’t like to chat “forever” rather. For me it’s just more like a lots of photos Im pressing “nope/like” at,- and thats it. Most if the men don’t even have a couples of words at their profile. It doesnt “give me” anything in a way. Difficult to explain. But okay,- I can give it a try again. And try to be a bit #patient too, maybe 😅? It takes time to look for, and for finding “gold and diamantes” worth using a bit time on 😊. Its just not gold all that’s are shining in the sun 😉.

Im not sure why I haven’t thought there maybe was a possibility for me to meet a #younger #man to have a #serious #relation togheter with , but I think it’s a #combination of my own #experiences as well as the #society I did grow up in. But I m not there anymore, in the “society” I did grow up in, – so why not just try to “let go” of what the society means, as well as my own experiences 😊.

If an older man can have a long term and serious relation to a younger woman, an “older” woman, like me, maybe can have serious long term relation togheter with a younger man 😊?

My #focus in my daily life are not boyfriend- relationship- age, at the moment,- but, yes, it’s #dropping by know and then, of course 😊. But Im at the same time I m happy in my relation- the relation togheter with myself 😊. That’s very important too 😊.

I hope you are #happy in the relation you are in,- even its just a relation with your self, or a younger/ older/ same- age relation 😊. The most important is to be happy I think 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 💛 Thank you so much for dropping by today too,- and for reading my #blog 💛

See you soon 😊

Maybe I’m “#looking” in the “wrong #direction” when it comes to the #subject “#men, #boyfriend and serious relation” ? 😊 Maybe my “#focus” has been to much to meet someone at my age? If a older man can have a serious relation to younger woman,- there should be a tiny #possibility for me to have a #serious #relation togheter with #younger #man ? 😊

A tiny Tinder- experiment 😉

Hi ❣Its so nice to see you ,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 💛

I’m still #single,- but I need to admite it had been nice to meet someone, someone that could be a nice #boyfriend. It’s just seems that’s not so easy to meet or find 😊. On the other hand,- I haven’t been looking very #seriously around rather. (….maybe I need to “move” out from my cave first? 😅 … )

It had been nice to have someone “#special” in my #life that also did think I was something “special” for him 😊. Someone to do different things together with. Like a walk at the beach, eat dinner together, watch a movie, just spend a bit time together, giggle a bit together, dream together and a bit more 😊.

It happens if it’s #happen, it would and could be fine,- but I’m not even sure how to do this #dating in a #seriously way anymore😊. Where to meet someone, how to do it 😊 ?

It’s different kinds of #online #dating #webpages,- but does anyone meet someone for a long term and seriously #relationship online? Some, I think,- but that’s a quite few one,- or? I have actually no idea.

I did try out a little, not very serious “#experiment” on #Tinder for just some few days 😊. I did activated my Tinder account and did put in some new photos of my self, and did #change my #text a bit too.

The first days my text was more and less like this “I’m a #happy #norwegian #woman that’s lives and works in Spain. Im #enjoying my life. Im #positive and #realistic, and #romantic too”.

And then it was just for me to push the “like-button” 😊. I don’t remember how many “likes” I did send out to different kinds of men,- but it was a bit 😅. I know I should been counting, unfortunately I forgot 😊. But I did got a lots of “#matches”. I should had counting them too 😊. Anyway it’s not so important,- it was just a tiny, simple and not very serious “experiment” 😊. It was just a bit #fun to do 😊.

Then I did I added some more text to my profile. The “#magic” #words “I’m looking for a seriously relationship”. 😉

And suddenly I just had 3 matches left 😅. What did just happen? 🤔 Well,- obviously it’s not many men around my age ( +/- 10 years up/ down my age ) that’s actually are looking for an seriously relationship,- that’s for sure. Or……. ,- maybe it was me that just didn’t #tempted any of this men to get more acquainted to see if there could be something serious together with me? To get to ( want to ) know me? 🤔

I don’t know,- I just know that the “magic” words “seriously relationship” acted as an eraser and removed most of my matches 😅.

So,- what do you think? Aren’t single men in my age ( +/- 10 ) in general not very interested in a seriously relationship? Or did I, me, and the thoughts of spending to much time together with me scared them away? 😊

It’s fine to be single, Im in general and normally enjoying my own #company ,- but I think it would be even better to be two,- as long as there are a #sweet match on different levels between the two persons and in the #relation 😊.

Anyway,- I think maybe I just leave the dating to next year 😊. We see,- its not something I have many serious thoughts about. But actually it would be fine if he just came riding on his white horse and just picked me up,- like a handsome, gentle, nice, (rich) and very #sweet #prince 😉. It’s allowed to be #dreaming 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 💛 Thank you so much for dropping by today too,- and for #reading my #blog 💛.

See you soon 😊

It is allowed to #dream a bit about #love and #relationship 😊. But is that “dream” of love and #serious #relation for #real on #online #dating ? Im not sure 😊.

It was fresh eggs and ham, butter and jam, but not made with love 😉 🥘🎂

Hi ❣Its so nice to see you ,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 💛

Well,- today we can talk a bit food,- and its fresh eggs and ham, butter and jam, and yes , cheese too, and bread of different kinds and a tiny “dasch” of a special chocolate too, or maybe it was a small piece of cake ? ,- and probably more,- I can’t remember,- and we talk #breakfast …but not in the “#consept” you maybe think 😊. Do you have time for this? This breakfast- post did took a bit longer time to write that I did #imagen before I started,- just so you now 😊. At the same time,- it did took a bit time to prepare “this” breakfast too 😉.

Im not going to #prepare a breakfast for you,- I do really dont like to prepare breakfast for anyone else then my children and my self 😊. Its one of the worst meal Im making to my holiday- guestes and others guestes,- but still its seems that they are #enjoying to eat breakfast “made by me” for some strange reasons 😉.

My breakfasts has been thrown right into the trash …. if it wasn’t “made with love”,- so Im obviously not the best breakfast- maker in the world 😅.

And yes,- I m able to #laugh about it now,- even make a joke and two. Natasja learned me that,- but it was a bit difficult to laugh about breakfasts “made by me” some years ago 😊. Im in #progress 😉.

And just so you know,- it can be too much sharing for some, and too little sharing for others in this post too. But Im just #sharing what I feel #comfortable with sharing today too,- and I had many, many turns with my self before I did post it too ,- because I know its a bit more in between the lines then the breakfast 😊. But I did choose to keep it all more and less just around “the breakfast” ,- but not the breakfast- table ,- its about weekend- breakfasts in bed,- together with a “mister” back there in Norway some years ago 😊. And I just repit myself now,- I have choose to let the focus in the story be around the breakfast. It can seems like a “small consept”. But this small consept, breakfast, was the best for me to share 😊.

I was use to take the weekly food- shopping on my way home from my #work every Friday, and it was one stop in one shop, and I was able to get “all and everything” we needed for the #weekend as well as for the up- coming week,- before I went home,- and could #enjoy the weekend 😊.

But you can say, that one, that “shopping- rutine” did #change a bit after I started to live together with this “mister”. And I actually did like “my easy and fast shopping rutine”. It was even a cheap shopping- trip too 😊.

Well, what to do, – it was my job in the home to take care of the food purchases, – especially since I was also the one who mostly made the food, the meals, and on Fridays I did quit my job earlier too, and I did had some time for this round. And I can promise you, I did really needed that time 🙄.

It was fresh egg from one store, fresh bread and a special cake in an other store. Jam and fresh butter was also #important. With that means ,- the butter needed to be open up from a new box Friday evening, or best of all Saturday morning. Imagen how many boxes of butter it could be in the fridge sometimes 🙄 ,- because,- is was no use in a open butter- box for the weekend-breakfast,- only un- open was usefull. 4 days butter with a “touch” of a bit darker color couldn’t been use to the weekend-breakfast,- ai, ai ai.

I did actually tried that a couple of times,- but for some #reason I didn’t understood, he did find it out,- and that was not very good…. for me to do, with the butter and the breakfast 🙄.

It was a couple of more things too, from other stores and the shopping- round,- but I don’t remeber it all anymore. Thats the good thing with our #brain. The brain is, after a while, able “to block” things thats not good or #necessary to #remember any more. So,- when thats said,- its a couple of things I cant remember anymore from this relationship,- and thats good 😊.

It was very important that I did buy the different things from the correct stores too,- not just the correct products, in the wrong stores.

And it was also very important that I made it all in the #correct way too,- and “#with #love”. It was a half a slice of bread with “this, another one with that”. I think it was maybe 6 half slices of bread with different kinds of topping on, and the jam needed to be on the right bread too, eggs cooked on time, cold and hot drinks, and something sweet to the end, like a special chocolate or a piece of cake.

I did made me a list so I shouldn’t #forget anything, or forget how to #prepare the breakfast.

Then it was this “weekend- breakfast- #session” in bed. Im not use to and was not use to eat breakfast in bed every weekend, both Saturday and Sunday. Im just use to do this on #special “#happenings” like birthday or mother’s day, or if I was really sick, or if me and my partner ( earlier partner miles away in the #past) wanted to be a bit #romantic and do something #nice and #cozy for each other.

Breakfast in bed is for me #connected to something #special. So it was a bit #change for me this new breakfast- sessions. But okay,- I did think it could be a new, nice #experience.

He wanted us to have regular days to made the breakfast. For example I did make the breakfast at every Saturdays and him every Sundays. I was not agree with that one. What if I was tired and wanted to sleep a bit longer on “my” Saturday or Sunday? I couldn’t know that infront, so it became every second day insted. If I did prepared the breakfast on the Saturday, he did take the Sunday,- and otherwise.

But,- there was a “limit” here as well. It was not just the “shopping- round”.

The breakfast should be starting to be prepared between 08.00 and 09.00,- and with love” ,- nja… start #preparing at 09.00 was in general a bit too late, it did actually took a bit time to prepare his breakfast,- and we should also preferably stay in bed until about 12.00 🙄. For me it felt like I did loose a lots of my day,- to just be in bed and eat the breakfast (my breakfast was not so big and complicated, and I didnt need to use hours to eat it 😅), listen to music and read. Well,- I did at least had the time to read a couple of books in this breakfast- periode,- thats for sure 😊. For him it was the newspaper, fresh picked up from the mailbox 😊.

But you know,- I didn’t always knew if I was to tired to start this breakfast- preparing at 08.00, but if it was “my day” it was my day, thats the way it was,- then it was just to do the breakfast. So, to be honest, I could be a bit tired when I did made the breakfast, and maybe I also forgot how long the eggs has been cooking 🙄. ( a egg-cooker- machine popped up at the kitchen one day,- so that one shouldn’t happen again . The eggs had a time too 😅).

Anyway,- I did started to dislike this “breakfast- rutine” more and more, and I was tired too,- and I in general probably forgot to prepare the breakfast “with love”,- I just #made the breakfast. Actually I did prepared the breakfast the way I normally did,- but not always with a big smile in my face at 08.00 a Saturday or Sunday morning. Like I already have mention,- it did took a bit time to prepare his breakfast too,- it was so much with a “little bit of this and that”. (And the breakfast in bed was not a choice- it was a “must”).

So then when I didn’t made the breakfast “with love” because I didn’t jump out of bed with a big smile and joy for making breakfast to him at 08.00 on a Saturday or Sunday morning ,- then his breakfast ended up in the trash. He actually did thrown the breakfast “made by me, but without love,- without a big smile in my face and joy” in the trash, and he did made a new one for himself. Because he did #deserved a breakfast made with love,- and if I couldn’t do that “only” thing to show him my love,- he could make it himself.

Even now,- when I m reading through what I have been writing Im thinking ,- “was it all?” “was it me ?” “Why didn’t I just run away and did gave a shit in the breakfast?” But I m also thinking “Do I really don’t understand the “consept” relationship, love and give with love?” Was it to much for me to even or just do the breakfast the way he did preferred it for just to show the love ?

Maybe nothing of this “breakfast- deal” was or is so difficult as I did made it too? Was it a big deal? Maybe this is a story and experience I shouldn’t have been affected by? I don’t know,- but it did affected me,- to be honest 😊. The, this meal- consept.

Its still days where I think I m stupid and have not a clue about #relationship and love ,- and maybe its just very normal to prepare breakfast for each other in a relationship this way? What do I know? Im not use to it from my parents, or boyfriends from my past or even my ex-husband. But as I was told,- I didn’t know very much about love and relationship rather.

And,- the question I have got many times the last years when I have told this story to my closets friends are “Why did you do this ?” “Why did you accept it?” “Why didnt you just walked away?”

I have been thinking the same many times during the last years,- but its very different to be #directly in the #situation and looking at it from the #sideline. And I didn’t told or talked very much to anyone about the relationship when I was in it,- because I did think I was the stupid one. The one who didn’t know anything about love and relationship, give and take, and important breakfasts. I did heard that a lot during this time with him. And then you starting to belive what your being told.

Anyway,- it did something with me when it comes to make breakfast to others,- and food in general. Sometimes I m just sitting and waiting for my guestes to throw the food I have made to them away,- before I take the chance to start eating 😅. Just kidding,- its not like that anymore,- but I still dont like to make breakfast to others.

Its actually not many years since I started to belive in my self again when it comes to cooking and baking.

I have actually been a teacher in “Bakery and food” at a school for students in the age between 16 and 20,- it was one if my first jobs as a teacher. I have also been working with food for over 3 years- with making cold tables, cuts and canapés. A job I did like,- normally I do like to make food 😊

And I m back in business again when it comes to make and give away my homemade cakes and invite people over to dinners, or a small snacks meal 😊. And now Im even sharing my #recipes with you too,- and all are “spiced up with love” just so you know 😉.

But,- step by step,- you know 😊.

Well,- that was a tiny long #travel into a weekend-breakfasts #habit from my past 😊.

I hope you all are #enjoying your breakfasts,- around the table or in the bed,- made with a smile and love,- or just made because you actually #need to #eat 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 💛. Thank you so much for dropping by today too,- and for reading my blog 💛.

See you soon 😊

#Homemade #afternoon- #tea #made by #me and made with #love 😊. I actually do like to made and #prepare different #meals for my #friends and #family 😊. What more to say? Its has just not always been like that for a periode in my life,- but I m back 😊.